My Worst Nightmare Came True

It's just another ordinary routine. He'd be in Rompin or Penang or JB or Ipoh or KT for a week, but he'll be back with us by Friday or Saturday the most.

It's just another ordinary routine. It's just another ordinary goodbye hugs with the children and me and "Hey, don't be sad.. I'll see you again on Friday" line on Monday morning.

It's just another ordinary routine. Of waiting for him to come home to us on Friday night..

Until that fateful, 31 Jan nite..

Allah! Allah! Allah!

I woke up at 2.30am to the faces of my mama, sister and brother, in my bedroom, telling me to get dress and pack his stuffs. I foolishly asked them, "Wan dah balik?"

"Wan dah sampai Kajang, but I have some very bad news to tell you. Don't be shock, but he's involved in an accident nearby. Ayah is with him right now, in the ambulance to the hospital.."

It felt like someone dimmed the light around me for a while. I didn't cry, nor did I scream or say anything. I just sat there, in the middle of our queen-size bed that we've been sharing for the past 5 years, the blanket clutched to my chest, dumb-struck.  

Tell me that it's not true. Tell me that this is just them pulling a leg at me. But looking at my sister's serious face and her orders to pack an overnight bag for him, I knew that this is for real. Then, the shivers starts racking through my whole body. Tears welled in my eyes, but my mama, my dearest mama told me to buckle up and get a grip over myself, for the sake of our children. Only then, I took a deep, deep breath and focused my energy on him.

Before leaving the house, I looked over to Nisa and Aira, still deeply asleep through the chaos, and promised myself that they WILL see their Ayah, that they WILL grow up with their Ayah in their life. I made that promise to them. 

All the way to the hospital, Mama filled me up with the details that they knew. I kept asking them "Is he ok? Is he awake?" They said that he is talking. That's good enough for me.

Then, I uttered out loud, "This is my worst nightmare came true. I knew the risk of him riding the bike. I know, deep in my heart, that one day, somehow, it will come down to this. Never thought that it will actually happen to us..." 

The ride to the hospital felt like forever. My mind was only on him. I told myself not to cry over and over again. Then only I read the message that he sent to my phone.

I saw him for the first time in the X-ray unit of the emergency department (ED). There he was, lying on the bed, covered with dirt, sweat and blood, cased in a neck brace, leg brace and arm brace. He looked at me... and smiled.. Allahu akbar... The sweetest, sad smile I've ever seen on him. Syukur Ya Allah... Kau masih simpan dia untukku. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah...

I touched his shoulder for the first time and said "Assalamualaikum Abang. I'm here. I'm here..."

No other words are needed....